dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
