My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
