I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
