their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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