i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
