Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
