i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize