Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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