just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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