yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
