just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
