Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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