So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
