So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
