you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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