She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
