I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
