Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize