About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
