I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize