Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
