So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Randomize
