Need sex. Gaining weight.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
