I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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