11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
