laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
