Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
