Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
