Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize