i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
