you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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