i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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