i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
