You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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