By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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