there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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