why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
