Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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