We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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