Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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