Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Randomize
