so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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