The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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