Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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