I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I would ride that face into the sunset
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
