I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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