Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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