my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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