I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
