She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
