Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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