Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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