i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
