It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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