I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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