Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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