talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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