Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize