it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
