just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You can't just leave with hair like that
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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