I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
