i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
